The Misconceptions of Gender Equality


The narrative of having either of the two types of partners is gradually making room for the third category. The rich and faithful. The intelligent and handsome. And then the homely and help-mate.

In case you haven’t heard, those have been some of the overriding comments from most Nigerian ladies who have seen clips or pictures of Serena Williams’ multimillionaire husband, Alexis Ohanian, play the Daddy role and babysit their Child, as his wife returned to court after putting to bed.And this has formed their mantra for 2018 relationship goals and has touched the fanbase of so many diverse opinions.

In the past few days, my social media space has been flooded with women who hold these provocative views that Nigerian men, especially the wealthy ones, would never do such. Rather, they’ll employ a nanny- since their only area of domestic specialty is pinning the woman down during sex.

While this isn’t completely dismissive of the allegations, nature has made it that there are jobs that are masculine, and other chores are feminine. That’s not to say either sex cannot excel in the role.

Being a banker, weekends are usually the only days I have to myself. Hence, I prepare my ”egusi” soup just the way I want it. I integrate my stock fish, fresh fish and assorted meats into my medium sized pot and allow them sort themselves out with the melon seeds and vegetables. As an only child growing up, I honed this skill in the early 2000s under my mum.

When bae visits sometimes, she lavishes praise on my cooking. Sometimes, a day before her visit, she puts a call across pleading that I prepare this special delicacy for her.

While I am appreciative of her preferring Anthony’s ”buka” to KFC, I had mentioned I wouldn’t still be doing this when we eventually settle down as partners.

I’m sure more slay queens will criticize this decision but in truth, when it comes to giving her my love and attention, no one beats my generosity.

On several occasions, when mechanics are not around, I’ve had to assist female colleagues change the tyres of their cars while asking them to step aside. I feel awfully guilty watching a woman do this.

Sadly, most women have turned blind eyes to the things that are happening right. They are just generally negative in their approval of Nigerian men because they believe the good men specie are on the brink of extinction.

Ideally, a man as the head of the family should provide the basic needs and support mechanism for the home. This include, but not limited to rent payment, utilities and other miscellaneous. The woman on the other hand takes care of maintaining a welcoming ambiance in the house, cleaning, cooking and a few others.

Nothing stops her from assisting the man with some of the other responsibilities if she has the financial capacity to do so, and vice versa.

Alexis Ohanian did the right thing. He allowed his humanity and selfless love shine through. If you’re not constantly thinking of what to give in a relationship, be it financial or moral support, it means you’re either not sensitive, you are stupid, or you are not even human. You don’t even love.

If your ego prevents you from helping out with chores, especially when your spouse is indisposed, then your exposure is painfully, useless.


Occasionally, I can prepare the special “egusi” delicacy as a treat to bae, but expectations should be lowered. Men are men, and women are women. Nature assigns each a special task.

If you assemble the best of female footballers around the globe and pit them against a Kano Pillars team, they will get trounced no doubt. Nature has made it that way.

Women are more patient, better organizers and negotiators when they go to the market to purchase food items. Unless a man feels like assisting his partner, it shouldn’t be his core duty every Saturday afternoon. Nature has made it so.

Overtime we’ve seen women running successful businesses, heading organizations and doing great things. A popular maxim in this part of the world has it that behind every glowing wife is a husband doing his job. It doesn’t necessarily have to be babysitting, going to the market or preparing the kids for school.

It could be his attention, his late nights with you trying to analyse your business challenges and advise on better ways to sell.
The illusions that men should also do what women do and vice versa is the problem militating most relationships. Whoever said Nigerian men are not romantic and caring, should have a rethink.

To keep everyone happy though, a set-up is required.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this too. Are Nigerian men just being misunderstood? Or what should they do to increase their ratings?

19 thoughts on “The Misconceptions of Gender Equality

  1. One of your best pieces so far. Unbiased and fair exposè of a controversial subject. Call it a radical view, I wouldnt bother. The truth is that, naturally, gender equality is non-existent. What people mistake for gender equality is what I’ll prefer to call “human equality”. That is, the equality expressed in our collective humanity. The equality of both men and women to love and hate, to grow and die, etc. Thus, by our human nature, we’re equal, but by our gender, we’re not equal. Those who defy gender-specific roles for instance, are not exerting their equality but only pushing their boundaries. Relate this to a woman pecking firewood.

  2. Well put together.
    Often times people focus on the negative, totally ignoring the little nothings: listening to the stories of her bad hair day, the late night gists, the once in a while breakfast in bed, very many sweet nothings..

    1. An African proverb has it that if you are peeling groundnuts for a blind man, you must keep whistling to assure him you’re not eating them. Maybe, Nigerian men have to also start showing the world similar scenes- that they are romantic and caring.

      Thanks and reading and engaging bro!

  3. Gender inequality as against the topic has always been a huge factor in Africa, precisely Nigeria. Overseas in Europe and America, it is perceived as a civic duty and responsible obligation between the man and the woman as to how things should work in a simple and peaceful manner in a family, relationship or work environment.

    But the over bloated feminism and misandry/masculinism in the Nigerian mentality between genders will keep on shading another picture with thin darker HB pencils totally. Gender equality if u ask me, is a very big issue that needs proper addressing or could wind up being misconstrue….

    Your write up yet again, is one hundred percent SECONDED by me!

  4. True brother, and just like u rightly put it “nature has assigned each his/her role” and I think it all boils down to this singular statement. Its our ignorance of this divine truth that has been the cause of the abuse and misconception of gender equality. I believe gender equality shouldn’t be a platform wherein one gender group may see to abuse or dominate the other.
    We we can understand this “truth” then w’ll come to appreciate our roles and while even complementing the other.

  5. Nice one husband material! Gender equality means equal rights, equal priviledges, equal standards, equal roles when dealing with every gender.yes we the female like to hear the sweetest lie we call the truth,and we forget if we are to be the men some of this things we argue on cant be done. We are blacks who at times follow the foot steps of the white which may work for Mr A and can’t for Mr B. The mean thing here is for our men who promise to take care of us from the very first day we agreed to become one should at list try their best .secondly, let our husbands listen to the wife’s opinion,it can still help someday. Tnx

    1. You can be rest assured that we’re doing our best, Loveth. Nigerian men are caring and romantic- that doesn’t mean we can’t do more though.

      It’s nice to get your perspectives on this dear!

  6. Truth is sum Nigerian guys are romantic while sum are nt bcos sum of dem are nt exposed to romantic parents, dy grow up wid dis mindset dat dy are d head of d house so act lyk mini-gods while dose dat are romantic are yet to perfect it n sum Nigerian girls are nt romantic too dy bliv all d affection shud cum from d guy….while sum will even tell u shey na love will go chop…..bottom line sum Nigerian guys are romantic buh d ladies has to re-adjust too.

  7. It’s a nice piece of write up
    Gender equality is one thing that will b difficult to achieve, especially in Africa because of her culture, am not saying that gender equality is not appreciated on my part but as Africans it’s probably difficult to achieve because of her culture, of placing men above women. Having said that I believe the issue of men helping out their partners(wife) is a thing of maturity,level of exposure and enlightenment. With this qualities men and women will do their responsibility and as well know when to “cross” the line to do that which is arguably their partner’s responsibility

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    1. Dear Lara, It’s a huge pleasure to note that you find it worthwhile visiting my blog.

      Thanks for reading and engaging.

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