”If we Love with restrictions and tie it to conditions, we do not give Love room to be love”- unknown
Imagine a movie, in terms of footballing phrase, that most people described as a relationship of two halves. Gripping. Betrayal. Shock. Anger. Love. Sacrifice. It had it all, yet if you’re given the chance to be an umpire, you’d find it difficult to award points either side. Too good to be true? Turns out, Yes.
For ten minutes, that was the case after the cinema lights came on, everyone still sat like “this can’t be it, there has to be more”.
News flash: That was it! And just to reaffirm, Tyler Perry never disappoints with his productions. A review on an Instagram Account opined, “Acrimony” wrought emotions too bright for the audience to hide”.
Ever since I saw it last week, I had encouraged couples and friends to do same. The movie presented various perspectives to issues plaguing homes and relationships in a most appealing form. Much to my delight, it also set the tone to this tale.
There is something that speaks to that part of a relationship where maybe the dream is taking too long to materialize. Most of us go into relationships, or get married with high hopes and ambitions, rather than believe.
Nothing could have prepared me for the shocker I got many years ago. Love is a bitch when it changes to a tormentor. And when that lover turns to an angel of scar and debit alerts, watch it!
After requesting for money to make her hair, I was perplexed when she asked me, “What do I do with this 5k now”? That was also after she refused to envelope me with her hugs at the eatery when we met for a hangout.
Notwithstanding that I had no formal employment then, nevertheless, I had made it a point of duty to always give her stipends for her upkeep monthly. I retrained myself from raining curses on her generation that moment, but then again, Love is a bitch! No wonder, despite the entire calamity Melinda caused on the ship, Robert still tried to save her.
When you do something out of love, you don’t count the cost. Just to see those smiles on her face, I dialed my bank’s *770# Instant Banking Code to check my account balance and know if I can do a transfer to her account to augment what I had earlier sent. I knew my reward awaited me later that night if I could pull that off. Sadly, my phone’s screen, already looking like cobwebs, showed useless digits.
Two months later after she stopped picking my calls, her friend told me that she left because she couldn’t put up with a guy who cannot cater for her needs, and wants. Her matrix of a guy that can take care of her showed that he must drive an SUV, for a start.
Now that Davido has bought a Porsche devene for Chioma, some men will be told to “hide their faces” because all they’ve done has been to merely paper over the cracks. Already, social media is awash with the news and tongues are wagging.
But how about those times when he/she made your colours a little brighter, and your sunshine a little warmer? How about commending him or her for staying constant in a world full of change, and for keeping some normalcy in a world full of chaos? How about his grit? His humanity? His intelligence? “Who that one help” will be the auto-replies each of these questions will get.
In defense of Melinda, some people will also argue. Why did it take Robert plumbing such depths before digging out? Why did he allow her lose all confidence in him? Is 10million dollars worth all those 22years of love and sacrifice? Will 10million dollars bring back her womb which he obviously destroyed? Couldn’t he rather write that cheque to his new fiancee? Why didn’t he fight harder to stop the divorce? If he could reject an 800 thousand dollars cheque to hold onto his dream, why did he think he could buy out someone else’s dream with 10million dollars? Why was he too quick to move on?
Sadly, so many relationships do not survive the rainy days.
In a suburb where I once lived, a Neighbour once drank “otapiapia” because a lady he sponsored through the University left him for someone else. Rage beyond control, seconds from crossing over to the other side. How he miraculously survived after being rushed to the hospital should be the ninth wonder of the world. How I kept my cool from slapping someone’s daughter was the eighth.
If you’re a dreamer, and you have a partner who’s been holding you down, supporting you in his/her little ways, please, never stop reassuring them of your undying love. And never give up on that vision.
Most people don’t just want the partner without the money. Neither do they want the money without their spouse. They have been overrun with emotions and the picture of the perfect lives in their heads. Patience in adversity is key in these trying times.
Like a wounded animal being nursed back to life, the bottom line is to recognize those who have stood by you when things were rough. Sometimes, the car, the money is not just enough. But then again, let it go if it’s over, when you recognize it’s over. You need to flip a new page and look ahead with greater spring in your steps. When events happen that might signpost the end, be sure that whatever decision you take must come from “within” and never from others who won’t bear the consequences.
It’s still difficult to say where it all went wrong, but there’s a lot to learn from these. A brand new Porsche car might not be worth his faithfulness and genuine concerns. The wealth might not just be enough without the attention and care. Just saying!
Kindly disregard the initial title of this piece, “Trust the wait but move on when it’s over” should be an apt theme instead.
What do you think…?