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Will You Wait Long Enough Until He Becomes Who You’ve Always Wished?

”If we Love with restrictions and tie it to conditions, we do not give Love room to be love”- unknown

Imagine a movie, in terms of footballing phrase, that most people described as a relationship of two halves. Gripping. Betrayal. Shock. Anger. Love. Sacrifice. It had it all, yet if you’re given the chance to be an umpire, you’d find it difficult to award points either side. Too good to be true? Turns out, Yes.

For ten minutes, that was the case after the cinema lights came on, everyone still sat like “this can’t be it, there has to be more”.

News flash: That was it! And just to reaffirm, Tyler Perry never disappoints with his productions. A review on an Instagram Account opined, “Acrimony” wrought emotions too bright for the audience to hide”.

Ever since I saw it last week, I had encouraged couples and friends to do same. The movie presented various perspectives to issues plaguing homes and relationships in a most appealing form. Much to my delight, it also set the tone to this tale.

There is something that speaks to that part of a relationship where maybe the dream is taking too long to materialize. Most of us go into relationships, or get married with high hopes and ambitions, rather than believe.

Nothing could have prepared me for the shocker I got many years ago. Love is a bitch when it changes to a tormentor. And when that lover turns to an angel of scar and debit alerts, watch it!

After requesting for money to make her hair, I was perplexed when she asked me, “What do I do with this 5k now”? That was also after she refused to envelope me with her hugs at the eatery when we met for a hangout.

Notwithstanding that I had no formal employment then, nevertheless, I had made it a point of duty to always give her stipends for her upkeep monthly. I retrained myself from raining curses on her generation that moment, but then again, Love is a bitch! No wonder, despite the entire calamity Melinda caused on the ship, Robert still tried to save her.

When you do something out of love, you don’t count the cost. Just to see those smiles on her face, I dialed my bank’s *770# Instant Banking Code to check my account balance and know if I can do a transfer to her account to augment what I had earlier sent. I knew my reward awaited me later that night if I could pull that off. Sadly, my phone’s screen, already looking like cobwebs, showed useless digits.

Two months later after she stopped picking my calls, her friend told me that she left because she couldn’t put up with a guy who cannot cater for her needs, and wants. Her matrix of a guy that can take care of her showed that he must drive an SUV, for a start.

Now that Davido has bought a Porsche devene for Chioma, some men will be told to “hide their faces” because all they’ve done has been to merely paper over the cracks. Already, social media is awash with the news and tongues are wagging.

Photo Credit: nairaland

But how about those times when he/she made your colours a little brighter, and your sunshine a little warmer? How about commending him or her for staying constant in a world full of change, and for keeping some normalcy in a world full of chaos? How about his grit? His humanity? His intelligence? “Who that one help” will be the auto-replies each of these questions will get.

In defense of Melinda, some people will also argue. Why did it take Robert plumbing such depths before digging out? Why did he allow her lose all confidence in him? Is 10million dollars worth all those 22years of love and sacrifice? Will 10million dollars bring back her womb which he obviously destroyed? Couldn’t he rather write that cheque to his new fiancee? Why didn’t he fight harder to stop the divorce? If he could reject an 800 thousand dollars cheque to hold onto his dream, why did he think he could buy out someone else’s dream with 10million dollars? Why was he too quick to move on?

Sadly, so many relationships do not survive the rainy days.

In a suburb where I once lived, a Neighbour once drank “otapiapia” because a lady he sponsored through the University left him for someone else. Rage beyond control, seconds from crossing over to the other side. How he miraculously survived after being rushed to the hospital should be the ninth wonder of the world. How I kept my cool from slapping someone’s daughter was the eighth.

If you’re a dreamer, and you have a partner who’s been holding you down, supporting you in his/her little ways, please, never stop reassuring them of your undying love. And never give up on that vision.

Photo Credit: IMDb Entertainment

Most people don’t just want the partner without the money. Neither do they want the money without their spouse. They have been overrun with emotions and the picture of the perfect lives in their heads. Patience in adversity is key in these trying times.

Like a wounded animal being nursed back to life, the bottom line is to recognize those who have stood by you when things were rough. Sometimes, the car, the money is not just enough. But then again, let it go if it’s over, when you recognize it’s over. You need to flip a new page and look ahead with greater spring in your steps. When events happen that might signpost the end, be sure that whatever decision you take must come from “within” and never from others who won’t bear the consequences.

It’s still difficult to say where it all went wrong, but there’s a lot to learn from these. A brand new Porsche car might not be worth his faithfulness and genuine concerns. The wealth might not just be enough without the attention and care. Just saying!

Kindly disregard the initial title of this piece, “Trust the wait but move on when it’s over” should be an apt theme instead.

What do you think…?

28 thoughts on “Will You Wait Long Enough Until He Becomes Who You’ve Always Wished?

  1. Love is kind, Love is sweet, Love is above all very patient, but before you wait long enough be very sure the person is worth the wait and sacrifice that comes with it. Annie Macaulay waited and was rewarded etc. I can only wait if she is ready to take my “wahala” and still stays.

    1. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts, Kingsley.

      You’ve just unlocked a new debate as so many people would ask what indicies make a partner worth the wait.

      In my own case, between a girl I once idolized and the girl that wanted just more, it’s obvious sacrifice wasn’t enough. Isn’t it😊?

  2. Wow, good read.
    I would say I’m blessed with an amazing partner as such… She has stood by me through thick and thin… N at dis point in my life i dnt tink dere is anytin she’l ask for dat i’l hold back frm her as long as its within my capacity t do it… Bu in no distant time n God willing… I know i’l wife her for good…. *smiles*

    1. Thanks Raphael, I’m glad you enjoyed reading, and more delighted you’ve got yourself an Angel in human form.

      Having a woman that is so mentally productive, supportive and understanding is a bargain.

  3. Subjective, if you ask me. Quite subjective!
    I’ve seen Porsche Assurance gang relationships bloom to ripe old age and some fail weeks after. I’ve also seen many 10k gang relationships blossom like forever and quite many metamorphose to the “men are scum” circumstance.
    Well, I believe different strokes for different folks. Stand by her through the rough times and if she’s a Porsche Assurance babe, bro you’re well on your way to the “otapiapia” vendor.
    “Two cannot go together except they agree” – The Good Book

    Well, I should see Acrimony.

    1. Dear Val, it’s nice to get divergent views like yours on the topic as it sheds a different perspective from mine.

      However, I tried to paint the picture of both ends in my analysis. Like you rightly stated, different strokes for different folks. The lesson here though is to trust the wait, recognize when it ends, and walk away.

      Two cannot go together except they agree. Passion and determination are necessary ingredients.

      And yes, Acrimony should top your to-do-list this week. Thanks for always stopping by to share your thoughts here bro!

  4. True True. It’s not all about the person with the cash, but also what he/she can become after the relationship is sealed. Some believe their true love is the person who was there when the road ain’t good. So should people look for who to start small with? Not necessarily; just go for who you truly love, who is mature and ready for the relationship (the relationship that has a destination), who has a goal and is ready to take responsibility, who loves you too, etc.

    1. Well,for me money ain’t everthing …..buh I feel one’s partner should wait till she comes crawling for funds b4 he cn be supportive…….of course whos suppose 2pay her bills?some guys try to play smart see days……u want d full package of ur girl…buh yet no support 4rm u…dats unacceptable…..

      1. It will be foolhardly for a guy to always wait for requests from his bae before showing love and support, not even necessarily money. Totally unacceptable!

        However, I have a problem with people who wants to live the dreams of others. Most times, their quest and wants is premised on what they hear and see. RESPONSIBILITY on the part of the man is key also.

        Thanks for sharing for thoughts, Chizzy.

  5. I go with these line ‘ different strokes for different folks’. What worked for A might not work for B.

    In summary, we need to b matured in our decisions. Only then will we achieve our goals.

    1. Surely, Joyce. Relationship goals can only be achieved when the partners make those sacrifices. Maybe, “Assurance” should be replaced with “Endurance”.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  6. After reading this epic piece, still can’t tell if our women got rapped by the western anomalies or it’s just what African, precisely Nigerian women generally grew into.. Also not leaving behind the other party.. If we asked what we really want in a relationship with the opposite, I bet we can’t come to a total agreement to which comes first and which can be settled for much later.

    Am totally confident that there exist good girls, and fab men out there.. One can only thread carefully.. Good job. Cent Anthony.

    1. My Brother, the “little things that matter in a relationship” is a debate that will always divide opinion.

      I certainly cannot agree less with you that there shinning examples of wondetful men and women out there.

      Thanks for always stopping by to share your thoughts, Gerald.

  7. Good one! I believe Before you decide to wait make sure the person is worth it. I watched acrimony with my hubby he asked me who is to blame I told him taraji he looked a little surprised cos He felt I will take her side cos she is a female. Do not act too tough/egotism when you want something especially in love. If you want it go for it remember to take the shits it throws at you period!

    1. Thanks for reading and sharing your tboughts, Benita. I share your opinion to take the shits love throw at our path.

      However, maybe I should defend Taraji a little more. Let’s look at things this way.

      When she was spending her money on him. Remember, the car, the tuition. He didn’t lift a finger to work because he knew she loved him, and she was his back up plan.

      Why didn’t he pick a job then? When she had to do two jobs and put food on the table, why didn’t he make an effort?

      Yes, he had a dream but why didn’t he pause to think of his life with her and how much she has sacrificed?

      Was all her time worth 10m dollars?

      Recall he emotionally blackmailed her into buying him that car. She was distraugt,financially drained and sad.

      Maybe, if only he made an effort because that was all she asked for. She believed in him. She saw those dreams at some point.

      To cap it all, he chose the same woman.The same woman he cheated on her with during college. Same woman that made her lose her womb. Honestly, sometimes, it’s hard to take.

      But the ultimate lessons here is “letting go”. The moment a man feels too comfortable with you in terms of finance.When he doesn’t see the need to sweat because you are always rescuing him, you have probably lost it as a lady. That too should be noted!

  8. Love is truly a beautiful thing……… When it comes to relationship, there is no universal guidelines, everyone should stick to what works for them.
    I’d rather be with someone who is faithful and I’m at peace with than with someone (with all the porches) who will be tossed around by every wind of buttocks.

    Like you rightly said “Patience in adversity is key in these trying times”, it’s paying off for me though.
    Well-done Tony!!!

    1. Awwwwwn. I’m so glad you find that principle, practicable Chi.

      Love is truly a beautiful thing, and there’s no better joy than being with someone who values you. Thanks for reading and engaging.

  9. Well… all I thought of and still think about whenever I remember ‘Acrimony’ is ‘sometimes love just isn’t enough’. And most importantly Love from the love of yourself that way you don’t lose yourself loving someone else just like Melinda.

    1. In truth, there’s always the danger of “letting the horses of our emotions run freely”. But should we then love with restrictions?

      Some people find life much more meaningful when the have the company of those they love. It’s like orgasm and cooking- they could do it themselves but prefer someone else doing it. They can face life alone but prefer being with someone who unleashes the adrenalin in them.

      Love is sacrificial, it is limitless. Someday, one man can teach you that all men are not the same. Don’t you think so, Mike?

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts always.

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    1. Thank you, Lizeth.

      I’m glad you find the piece educating and inspiring. Thank you for reading and engaging.

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