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Your Originality Has Someone It Should Attract

By being yourself, you put something in the world that wasn’t there before- Edwin Elliot

 

Who would have thought that these little things matter? Who would have thought that simple words could have therapeutic effects? I  could not control the thrill of excitement that surged over my body.Was this what it meant to be in love with someone?All these impulses I felt because of a simple lexicon- ”Kpele dearie, those boiz no sabi play anything at all at all. Hope say you don chop”? That was bae quizzing me over our WhatsApp conversation.

 

Two days ago, the Super Eagles of Nigeria began their World Cup campaign on a disappointing note where they were outplayed and defeated. Knowing that football happens to be my hobbyhorse, she wanted to be sure I took the defeat in good faith. It wasn’t her concern that got me, but the manner with which the question was asked.For the first time in a long while; I was falling in love with someone who was also in love with me.

 

At this point, it was no longer predicated on her beauty or intelligence. What was obvious is that if it was a binary decision between humour and manners, it was an easy choice to make on the spot. Considering her background and how polished her diction is, it was shocking to see those “pidgin” words pop-up on my screen. To have someone finally feel so comfortable around you is a better compliment than being in love.

 

Now, here’s the thing.

 

From the first day you meet someone, there’s that tendency to put up a certain face or behave in a certain way. You find yourself brooding over thoughts- thoughts of how you should walk, smile, eat or laugh.  Months later, the calls between you two become increasingly longer. From small talks of “how are you” and “how’s work been”, it blooms into suggestive talks of endearments.

 

You find yourself at the water’s edge, standing in the same place you feel safest, yet wanting to test the depth. You’d love to have him hold you in high esteem, but you silently wish he instigate those dirty talks over the phone. Those final pieces of the jigsaw to what you want are always the hardest to find.You have your work cut out not just to ensure that his respect for you does not wane, but also to eliminate the straight-jacketed approach between both parties.

 

You are always tempted to let your guard, but again, you’re also quick enough to contain your impulses. No, this is wrong, a voice always caution. Get a grip on yourself. This is the other side you battle with; the side that creates bouts of doubt over the adventure of your feelings. The feel-good factor from the conversations appear to be dissipated by the uncertainly of crossing each others boundary.You are so scared in letting him see you without the make-ups or wigs.

 

Apparently, it’s a war both sex fight most times.

 

There’s a silent thought within you- she could think less of me if I don’t wear my Versace wrist watch. Hence, you’re not sure when it is right to open up, to be yourself. In truth, respect is earned but not everyone slots in.

 

Actually, these actions reel of lack of confidence. And originality.

 

Once two people become an item, and the fanfare of their early meetings has died down, more should follow.

 

 

Sadly, we’re all actors, forgetting that the aim of every relationship is to be more of you everyday.

 

When you’re living a lie as yourself, someday, words like, “I didn’t know you’re like this” will surely spill from the opposite sex. If you have to be overly careful about what you say or do around your partner, you need to re-assess that relationship.

 

You could make the arguments for, or against, that mutual respect amongst partners is important than being yourself, and being free. So, I thought we’d write this article together.

 

Be my muse in the comment section below.

 

23 thoughts on “Your Originality Has Someone It Should Attract

  1. As usual my dear friend and brother you kept me on though this one seem short but it is as always very precise and straight to the point.

    When you have found what we tag as “soul mate” there is this compatibility that flows between you two.

    When She opens up and tells you things about her self and family, lucky man you have reached that point. It translates she is very comfortable with you and by logical extension she feels very free to be her self. This also means she has removed a lot of formalities like speaking with you in either broken English or your dialect. In your own words
    “If you have to be overly careful about what you say or do around your partner, you need to re-assess that relationship” and I say its filled with a lot of pretence and what I call “forming”.
    Thank you!!!

    1. I always look forward to reading your views on my post, Kinsley. It felt as though I was reading an article on my very own blog. I guess I have to be careful before you knock me off business.lols

      I should say thank you also- for always stopping by to share your thoughts!

  2. Originality speaks for itself. You catch more flies with honey than with snacks. So, be Original and see everything work for good and your favour. Remember, forever is too long to cry or manage with deceit and lies.
    Nice article from Boss himself. #CentAntho.

    1. Your second sentence… You can say that again! I’m glad you found the piece worthwhile. Thanks for reading and engaging bro.

  3. Your words captured it all. Having been there, I can boldly say that ‘love’ is better expressed as ‘compatibility’. The day you lose your guard in your partners presence without feeling uncomfortable marks the beginning of your love journey. Thanks for this nice piece.

  4. Your words captured it all. Having been there, I can boldly say that ‘love’ is better expressed as ‘compatibility’. The day you lose your guard in your partners presence without feeling uncomfortable,that day marks the beginning of a beautiful love journey. Thanks for this nice piece.

  5. It is truly amazing when you get to that point in your relationship where you can relax and truly be urself….that is when you know if you are really compatible.

  6. Nail. Head. Hit.
    The crux of a loving relationship is that we bare ourselves and dive in wholly naked, but with the assurance that we are fully known, understood, and appreciated even with the flaws and yet loved nonetheless by our partner.

    1. Dear Chimere,I scribbled every word here into my diary. Not just for the nuggets, but the way you shared your thoughts.

      My kind of fantasy- I go mad for writers just as people go crazy for musicians.

      Thanks for reading and engaging!

  7. Its a great deal to get so comfortable around a partner, mind blowing nd interesting…..the problem is when the partner does not appreciate your comfortablilty.
    Well I can take my wig off around you Tony,does that make you my partner??😀😀 Asking for my sister.
    Great piece darl.

    1. I laughed so hard after I read your comments, Ify and I share in your sentiments too. It’s indeed a great deal to have a partner who feels so comfortable around you.

      As for your sister, well…I have a personality that is warmly accessible. I’m sure she can ask the question herself. Yeye gal!

  8. ”If you have to be overly careful about what you say or do around your partner, you need to re-assess that relationship.”
    Wow!!!….. Just like the litmus test, this is one of the most effective ways to test compatibility between partners.
    More wisdom Cent.

    1. I’ll start by saying AMEN to your prayer. Without doubt, for anyone who is looking forward to building a home with a partner, being yourself is truly a litmus test.

      Thanks for reading and engaging, Winifred.

  9. You did it again!!!
    Haa! I can really relate to this. It’s an amazing feeling when you move from “Hey dear, I will talk to you later, I want to use the rest room” to “Guy, how far na? I wan sh…t abeg”.
    When you get to that stage of expressing yourself without the fear of not being seen as ” tushed”, oh dear, you are already in the 3rd heavens

    1. I’m glad you found this post relatable, Chi. Thank you for always stopping by to share your thoughts here.

      I learn a lot from your contributions. Thank you, again!

  10. Nice write up,
    Infact Your Originality has someone it would attract.

    Just be yourself, be original, be comfortable, don’t live a lie. Some guys/ladies feel the need to be unneccesarily tush or posh, you blast foundation pidgin at home but speak “Queen’s English” with plenty grammar when you are together, ehhnn abeg most people want a partner that they can talk to and play with freely.

    Be yourself,
    Someone will come around who thinks the way you do,
    who loves the things you love,
    who plays the way you play.
    That is when you are in a REALationship- this is the relationship that will give you peace of mind, all this drama will only give you high blood pressure.

    Be yourself you won’t die!!!!!!!

    1. …”That is when you are in a REALationship”.
      I love the ”caps” use here. Thanks for reading and engaging Chi-Superman.

  11. I kid you not if I say I am guilty of the above post and that’s a shame! I mean, often times she poops this questions like “This is not how I knew you” or “you have changed, you were not like this before” … This post is so me.. Lol. I think I have to take a cue from originialty, this should be tough, but then again, 🍯 Honey should attract bees not flies. Beautiful piece Mr. Cent Anthony

    1. Awwwnnn. It’s a huge pleasure to note that you find this piece useful. Honey should indeed attract bees, not flies. Thanks for reading and engaging FAM

  12. Nice Piece bro… I hope Ladies learn because most times they #FriendZone the guys they are comfortable around and enter into a relationship with the guys who make them appear fake all the time to keep up appearance…

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